Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
