this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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