your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
