You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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