his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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