I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
