the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize