I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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