Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
