AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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