TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize