dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
