It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
