i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
