There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
