So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
