I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
