I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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