Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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