Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
