I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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