last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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