she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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