We're like a lot better than the average bears
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
