Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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