I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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