Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
