We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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