You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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