We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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