We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
