Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
