I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
