You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
