the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
