I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
