I think my vagina is haunted
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
