you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
