On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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