what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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