I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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