i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a search helicopter?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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