she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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