I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
