I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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