I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
