Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
After tacos, we're chasing women.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
