A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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