Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize