We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
