i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
