Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
