its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
