I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
