the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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