awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who died my cat blue again?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
