The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
as a side note pls kill me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
