Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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