The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
